Please stay, my beloved Captain!

6th January, 2015, 3:40 am in Dubai.
Ind vs Aus, 4th test match.

I switched on the idiot box with a scintilla of hope. India were fielding.
My eyes darted behind the stumps, but no! The man behind the wickets wasn't Mahendra Singh Dhoni. I started scanning the entire field in the hope of catching a glimpse of him. 'Maybe he is a part of the playing eleven even though he has not donned the wicket keeper's gloves', I told myself. The details of the Indian Squad then flashed on the screen. A gadarene scroll through the list confirmed my worst fears. My iota of hope turned into despair. Test cricket was no longer going to witness Mahi in action.

It is really hard to stomach the fact that we will no longer be able to see the childlike, brilliant smile from behind the stumps every time a wicket falls, hear the familiar but unique call of "Oyee" or witness that cheerful brisk jump in the longer version of the game.

There were 13 players and two umpires on the field, but the void left by Dhoni was evident. I could feel the vacuum. The stumps and the bails seemed to share my feelings. They seemed soaked in unspeakable misery. Their plight was heartrending. The bails seemed to utter a cry for help; they seemed to be lost in thoughts of not getting dislodged in lightening speed by familiar hands. The stumps appeared to be cursing their misfortune of not getting a chance to feature as a part of the esteemed collection of souvenirs at MS's place.

The man who had been an indispensable part of the Indian team for the last ten years would no longer be wearing the whites! It was too much for me to bear. My vision got blurred with tears and I could no longer watch the match. The reality of the situation slowly started to dawn on me. It pains me every time this decision of his is spoken about.

 It is impossible for me to bid sayonara to this man who has given me incomparable joy in test cricket over the last decade. At this juncture, I however, have one request to make.
 MS Dhoni, please don't deliver a similar blow to us anytime in the next five to six years! I will not be able to deal with another bolt from the blue about your decision regarding your career in cricket.
     
                 
           

Farewell, Phil Hughes..

Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined that I will be penning this article. But fate is cruel and unforgiving. Phillip Joel Hughes, who was hopeful of getting a recall into the Australian test team, was struck by a bouncer on the 25th of November. Instead of battling for a place in the team, he was battling for his life. Who would've seen this coming? 

He underwent a surgery to relieve the pressure on his skull, and remained critical, and was kept alive using life support. The entire cricket community was shocked by this freak accident. Everyone kept praying for good news. But alas, that was not to be. On the 27th of November, just THREE days before his 26th birthday, Hughes tragically passed away. His loss at such a young age saddened every cricket lover across the globe. People started tweeting condolences on the loss of such a young, promising talent. I personally never followed many of his matches. But I was unable to come to terms with his untimely death. The lad was just 25 years old; he had his entire life ahead of him. Had he not been felled by that dreadful bouncer, he would've been celebrating his 26th birthday, awaiting his opportunity to cement his place in the Australian squad. What was most disturbing was the fact that he never would've anticipated that his dreams are forever going to remain unfulfilled. Who can predict death? We all know that life is transient; anything can happen anytime. But we live with a false sense of security that life will be kind to us. We see people dying everyday, but never for a moment accept the fact that the same could happen to us. We think we still have time to accomplish all that we have ever wanted to. But as they say, we are not living everyday; we are simply cheating death each day.No One   knows when the last goodbye is. We never know when we are meeting a person for the last time. If we did, we would never let go of that person. Many a times, feelings are left unexpressed, only to discover that they are to remain that way forever, cause the person is no more. 

Whenever someone dies, all that I can think of is that their ambitions are unfulfilled. Their dreams are shattered. Rifts in relationships have probably not been mended. Goodbyes have been left unsaid.

They say time heals wounds, but I disagree. Time never heals anything. If it did, you would never be overcome with emotions when you come across anything that reminds you of a deceased loved one. Time just teaches you to live with the pain; it teaches you to get used to it. And every time you see or hear something connected with the person who is no more, the gash gets a little deeper, the wound is reopened once again, till you learn to live with it all over again.

Phil Hughes was a bright, young, talented guy who deserved to live for many more years. His death has impacted me so very deeply. Its been 6 days since his demise, but I have not been able to stop thinking about him even for a second. 

Wherever you're buddy, I love you. I miss your charming billion dollar smile. If at all you're looking down at us mortals, I know you'd be beaming with pride and happiness. 

To a life cut tragically short by the cruel intervention of fate, Rest In Peace Champion.

Coping with exam pressure

My exams are in about a month, and I am extremely stressed.

I have been the topper throughout; both in school and college. I scored 95% in my twelfth boards, with a centum in mathematics. I breezed through school, but college life hasn't been so kind. I still manage to top the exams; I scored the highest marks in UAE in three out of five papers; but I am no longer the person who would walk about without a care a day before the exam and the results. I still loll about the day before my exams, but the eve of the results manages to kill all my enthusiasm, and at times, even my will to live. I am not kidding! I do pass with flying colors at the end, but the night before results, I fidget nervously. Neither do I eat in peace, nor do I let others do so. 

Studying definitely is a daunting process, irrespective of how very intelligent you are, all thanks to the sheer volume of information that you are expected to absorb. The thickness of the books makes my head spin in horror. Am I really supposed to study ALL THAT?!! Just because someone is in University,   their memory size doesn't automatically expand by 200GB! Our brains do evolve ( or atleast, it is believed that they do! ) as we grow, helping us store more information. But it is just unrealistic to expect someone to regurgitate volumes and volumes of complex information in less than three months! Most students struggle to manage their time, thereby performing poorly! However, since there is no option available other than understanding and applying the vast ocean of knowledge embedded in textbooks, I feel that there are certain ways to help you somehow tide over these extremely "testing" times!!

1) Sleep well! Getting enough sleep is a sure shot way to ensure your brain is relaxed after all the torture you have subjected it to. Get atleast 7-8 hours of sleep.

2) Don't skip meals! EVER! Not eating well will result in crankiness, and difficulty in concentrating too. I have experienced this personally!

3) Plan your schedule. This is easier said than done. Though I always chart out a plan, I seldom stick to it. If I did, I would secure much more marks than I am getting presently.

4) Don't fret! You have to study everything; theres no other go. Worrying will not help you in any way; rather, you will be wasting your precious time that could have been well spent in studying! 

5) Revise all the difficult portions twice. You can spend less time studying the easier parts of the syllabus; concentrate on the hard ones!!

6) DONT REVISE AT THE ELEVENTH HOUR!! This is very important! Revising minutes before entering the exam hall will do you more harm than good! You tend to feel that you don't know anything; even those lessons that you studied thoroughly will seem vague. Studying at the last minute is suicidal! 

7) Forget about the exam once you're done with it! Don't ever discuss the answers once you come out of the hall. This is important to maintain your sanity. Performing a post-mortem of the paper will cause unnecessary stress; you can not change what you have written, so whats the point in knowing that you've answered a particular question wrong? Thats what the result day is meant for- you will eventually come to know how well you've performed! So stop going over the answers with your friends; chances are that your peers are completely wrong!

These tips have helped me, but the anxiety that comes with the knowledge that you have to appear for  a very tough exam soon is inevitable! All we can do is give it our everything and leave the rest to God!

Wish me luck for the exams!! 

The miracles of makeup!

Quite a few people whom I know very well spurred me to write this post. I am talking about Sonam Kapoor, Cameron Diaz, Penelope Cruz and a few other actresses. Yes! I do know them quite well. Too bad that they don't know me, though. 

I was tired of studying, so I decided to take a break, and google pictures of actresses without pancake. Why? Because, I desperately wanted to console myself that there are people in this world whose concerns are much more serious than mine. These actresses have to deal with grave problems such as being spotted without all the greasepaint; they worry about people coming to know how they ACTUALLY look. I, on the other hand, have minor tensions to deal with, such as, securing great marks, landing a good paying job, keeping my parents happy and so on. These are nothing in front of what the actresses fret about, right?

The results that showed up astonished me, to say the least. (The stark difference in the photos was akin to the one between a photoshopped and an original picture. I personally know of many people who, apart from applying insane amounts of makeup, also edit their pictures so much, that if they walked past me, I would hardly recognise them. I had an irresistible urge to upload their pictures too, but knowing that they will probably sue me upon discovering that I have uploaded their "real" pictures for the world to see, I stopped myself from doing so! ) 

Have wrinkles? Darkspots? Dull and sagging skin? Eyebags and dark circles?! ALL you have to do is spend a fortune on finding a good makeup artist. You then don't have to worry at all. The makeup artist will work her magic using high-end beauty products and transform you from looking like a bindlestiff to a ravishing beauty queen! 

Though  taken aback at first on seeing what google showed me, I was elated too, because, I realised that I am a bombshell compared to these "lovely" ladies sans makeup. Not only me, almost 1/3rd of all the women are divas when compared with the heavily decked-up actresses. Don't believe me? Scroll down and take a good look at the pictures. You will be utterly shocked to know that your favourite actress no where resembles her on-screen self when she is not wearing any war paint!  

1) Mila Kunis

Don't tell me I didn't warn you! Would you believe that the person on the left and the right are the same?!

2) Hillary Duff

Not so sexy in the picture on the left!

3) Sofia Vergara

Not a belle without cosmetics, huh?

4) Victoria's Secret Models

Anyone planning on applying for the job?

5) Shilpa Shetty

The transformation has been dramatic. Though a large part of it can be attributed to surgery, makeup definitely plays a hugs role in making her look stunning! 

6) Sonam Kapoor

Magic of makeup, guys! All you need to look good is 3 inches of MAKEUP! Viola!

7) Cameron Diaz

Diaz manages to look flawless with greasepaint. A little heartbroken on seeing her picture on the left? 

8) Goldie Hawn

A picture is worth a thousand words. I am referring to the one on the left.

9) AnnaLynn McCord

Spotted, dull skin on the left; spotless glowing skin on the right! 

10) Renee Zellwegger

Still have a crush on her?

11) Penelope Cruz

In one photo, she looks stunning; in the other, shes just like an average woman. And recently she was voted as the sexiest woman alive. Hmm!

AND people ask me why I have trust issues!! 

All images sourced from Google.

 

Don't have money? Fake it!

Note: The word 'fake' in the title, in no way whatsoever purports to mean another four letter word beginning with the same letter, which sounds similar to the one used, because by virtue of being decent, I always refrain from using  those type of words which would effectively constitute profanity! Now continue reading the rest of the post.

So, in today's glamorous world, where everyone tries to impress everyone else with the help of those oh-so-cool brands, luxury goods manufacturers have effectively taken advantage of the situation to manipulate people's opinions to make big bucks. People wish to be known by their association with brands. "I always buy only Louis Vuitton bags/I use only Marc Jacobs/I love shopping from Gucci" and so on! Their never ending ramblings about how they manage to buy these luxury goods, even though that means that they have to starve for a week always infuriate me! "Whats in a brand after all?", I used to argue and dismiss their bragging; until I bought one such commodity myself. 

My friends keep flooding social networking sites with pictures of all uber expensive branded items that they buy with their fathers' hard earned money. I always go through their posts; note what the others have to say ( but I make sure that I never comment or click like, even inadvertently). I never have understood why people are congratulated for having purchased Burberry shoes or Calvin Klein undies. One such post, however tempted me into buying an MK bag. My friend ( Ms.A) had posted about how she has a huge collection of neon coloured MK bags, and how badly she wants to expand her assemblage of expensive bags. Being too embarassed to ask her how much it cost her, I googled the price. Different sites quoted different prices, but the model that she had posted about came close to about $300. Quickly converting the amount into AED, I realized that it would overshoot my original budget by a HUGE margin. (My budget however, doesn't mean that I was going to pay for it!) To be sure that the bag would not make me shell out ANY more extra bucks, I decided that there was no harm in privately contacting Ms.A to find out how much she had paid for them. She however failed to reply, so I decided to go and find out the price from the official store. I could've rung up the store to gauge the price, but if they quoted a huge sum, I would've convinced myself NOT to splurge so much on a BAG. So the best option was to visit the store, find out the price, and walk out of the store with a heavy heart, which would prompt my dad to buy it for me! I am an evil genius! *winks*

 So, I proceeded to  convince my parents into getting me one, stating all the qualities of the bag that I perceived it to possess, and explained to them why no other bag would serve my needs. They gave in, and we went bag hunting the same day. 

The official MK shop had a nasty surprise in store for me. It was way too pricier than I had expected it to be after almost 1.5 hours of surfing the web. There was no point in going back home empty handed, and my dad insisted that I buy a branded one, so we sheepishly walked out of the store to see what the other stores in the mall had to offer. 

After checking out over 7 stores, I found out that all the other brands were even more expensive, and worse still, they came with no warranty; MK offered one year warranty. 

So after pointless strolling, we again walked back into the MK store. The shopkeeper looked at us smugly and declared loudly "Welcome back sir!". As if I wanted him to acknowledge our presence! Talk about storekeepers and their sarcasm! Huh! Anyway, once we FINALLY confirmed the price with the salesman after some deliberation, and we'd ensured that it would last me for a long, long time, we proceeded to pay and I walked out of the store beaming with pride. It was my first ever branded possession; I promised the bag that I would take care of it till my last breath.

Once I came back home elated, I logged into the devious Facebook (that had caused all this fuss to begin with); not to update a status that would be something similar to "Bought my first MK bag! :D feeling happy with Ms.A and 10 others", but to see if Ms.A had replied to my message. She certainly had. It went like this:

" Hey! Nice to hear from you after long! Well, those MK bags that I had posted about, umm, well, I bought them from an online store for AED 300 (approx $90). :P Who would spend over 1000 AED on a bag? Lol! I can send you the link if you want! They have over 50 pieces that look just like genuine MK bags!! :D You can buy 4-5 bags at the price of an original one!!! ;)"

PS: Lessons learnt :-

       1) NEVER, I repeat, NEVER trust ANYTHING on social networking sites. Well you can if you want to be fooled, though! This is also evident from the profile pictures on such sites that in no way bear any resemblance to the person.

      2) Don't be an idiot! 

Lyrics that make no sense!

Few days back I was humming the tune of a popular Hindi song when I realised that the lyrics made just no amount of sense at all. So my wicked mind began thinking of more such nonsensical songs that could very well constitute a blog post. Being the forgetful person I am, I will list all those songs that come to my mind. I will update the list as and when I remember new ones! *sly smile*

Here goes:

1) Hum tum ik kamre mein band ho: (Hindi)

Hum tum ik kamre main band ho, aur chabhi kho jaye.

(We both are locked in a room, and the key goes missing)

Chabhi ko bhi saath main le jaana chahiye tha na? (Should've taken the keys along, no?!) 

Hum tum ik kamre main band ho, aur sher aa jaye!

(We both are locked in a room, when suddenly a lion sprints into it)

Seriously?! Are you guys locked in a room or a cage in a zoo? Ho kya raha hain huh? Kabhi chabhi ghoom ho jati hain to kabhi sher bhag aata hain?!! Ho kidhar aakhir tum log? (What on earth is happening guys? At times you lose your keys, at times a lion skedaddles into your room!! Where are you guys, after all?!!)

2) Show me the meaning of being lonely: 

Life goes on, as it never ends;

Eyes of stone, observe the trends;

They never say, forever gaze if only!

Beauty rose, to an endless love, 

Theres no control, are you with me now?!

Your every wish, will be done they tell me!

Huh? I have listened to this song over a 1000 times, but never have been able to figure out what these lines mean. Your every wish, they tell me? Who are they?! *scratching my head*

3) Kabhi jo badal barse: (Hindi)

.. Main khud ko pagal kehloon, tu ghum de khushiyan sehloon saathiya,

... Pehle kabhi, na tune mujhe ghum dia!

Phir mujhe, kyun tanha kar dia?!

(I will claim myself to be crazy, even if you cause grief, I will accept happiness,

You have never caused me sorrow before,

So why have you left me all alone now?)

Hold it there! 

The hero sings that he will blissfully accept any pain that the heroine inflicts upon him, but then, he complains when she leaves him, thereby causing him trauma! Just what did the lyricist purport to convey?!!! 

4) Oh maghaziya, oho mahaziya: (Tamil)

Oh maghaziya, oho maghaziya,

Nakumukka nakka, oh shakalaka, oho randaka!

Please don't expect me to translate this mumbo jumbo! I have not the faintest idea what they mean. The above lines are sort of an amalgamation of all the cockeyed words used in so many tamil songs. In fact, the entire song is composed of such meaningless words taken from different Tamil songs. Not a single word in the song makes any sense. Why?! JUST WHY?!!

5) Tera pyar pyar pyar hookah bar: (Hindi)

Tera pyar pyar pyar,

Hookah bar bar bar

Tera pyar pyar pyaar

Hookah bar

(Your love is akin to a Hookah bar) 

This song has a very catchy tune( which Pritam must've plagiarised from some Korean/Japanese/Arabic/Swahili song ),but the lyrics are way too absurd. *retches*

6) Daaru Desi (Hindi)

Chadi mujhe yaari teri aisi,

Jaise daaru desi!

(I am high on your friendship like I would get high after boozing on local arak)

*Nods head in disbelief* 

7) Konjum mainakale (Tamil)

.. Naalai verum kanavu, adhai naan yen nambanum?!

....Nooru kanavugal kandale, aaru kanavugal palikadho?

( Tomorrow is just a dream, so why should I believe in it?

Out of a plethora of dreams, wont atleast a couple of them come true?

The irony in these two lines is profound! In the first stanza the heroine is prancing about happily, singing that she doesn't believe in dreams. And then in the next she longs for her wishes to be fulfilled. Pretty indecisive lady, isn't she? Or rather, the lyricist isn't quite sure of what to pen down! *facebrick*

PS: More to be added to the list. If you know of any such song (such gems are aplenty! :P), do let me know. I will add them with due credit! 

All GIFs sourced from reactionsgifs.com

UPDATE: My blogger app has been acting up. All the GIFs have managed to disappear magically from my post. Will update shortly! :)

No one is perfect!

Hello guys!

You must've figured out by now that I am not a professional writer. That is also quite evident from my blog title, but what if you misconstrued it as meaning that I am a veteran writer who is just trying to be humble? I know that it is usually the other way round, where novices try to feign proficiency in writing, but I am just stating the possibilities here. 

I used to write small stories when I was quite young, but as I grew up, I was introduced to the demonic world of computers. So gaming and pointless surfing tookover writing and sketching. ( Yes, I sketch and paint. Quite a multi-talented person I am! *Insert a cool emoji here* ) My interest in the English language too faded, and I was too occupied with downloading games from the internet that I was left with no time for anything else. I was the only one who knew to speak decent English without making grammatical errors in my school, so I was quite complacent with my minimal English knowledge. But then I came across people of my age who knew the meanings of quite difficult words ( or maybe, I 'felt' they were hard ) that I never even had heard of. One such example is nincompoop. YES! I didn't know what that meant! *Hides face in utter shame*

                                  

                                 

Then I decided that my English knowledge was terrible, and thus I had to update my lexicon. I started learning new words everyday. But my weak memory made me relearn the very same set of words over and over again. Exasperated, I gave up. Then I participated in a Spelling Bee competition in my school, made it through district level to national level, and bagged the first prize there. But victory doesn't come easy. I had to memorize a pocket-sized thesaurus, learn the spellings and meanings of over a thousand words.

                                                         

For a couple of months after the competition, people used to dread conversing with me in English. I hurled tongue-twisting complex words at them, and would often challenge them to word games. They obviously refused.

But how good am I now? Not so great! I struggle to recall simple words, and stutter a lot. But I am getting better at it. That is the main reason why I started blogging. Once I learn to properly articulate my thoughts in English, I feel I will become an eloquent speaker of the language. I am still learning to write, so please bear with me. If you find any areas for improvement, feel free to point them out; I would be glad to work on them. As they say, practice makes a man perfect. ( This does contradict the title of this post. So for the moment assume that practice helps you gain near-perfection ) I am trying to ameliorate my writing skills, and I hope you will help me with that!

Aloha! :)

GIFs sourced from gifsoup.com and photobucket.com